As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.  ~Mel Brooks  (From Quote Garden)

Excuses are lame.  Explanations feel pointless.  It happened though.  I botched.  I blundered.  I seriously embarrassed myself. 

It was confluence of many factors that compounded my shame. 

I like to think of myself as a communications advisor; a communications connoisseur ; a savvy business communicator.  I also like to think that I'm not technologically in-ept.  Clearly, these descriptions are arguable especially after my mistake.

So what happened?

I was having important and frequent conversations with a vital business contact the other day.  Let's call him Dave. We'd have a four minute conversation via phone, hang up for a while, and then reconnect for another short continuation. It was productive. It was necessary.

As the intensity picked up, I started to report the conversations to one of the project leaders. Let's call him Alan. Our relationship is casual as is our work environment. My reports went from being informational to more of a gossipy tone. Here was the beginning of my errors.

The setting at this point is January 14^th, 2008 in Minneapolis rush-hour traffic during -20F weather. I'm in my truck, driving home – FREEZING! The blowers are on full so it's kinda loud but I need them on to keep my breath from freezing on the windshield.

During one of those reports to Alan, Dave beeped-in on call-waiting. I hung up with Alan and clicked over. Dave was checking in on my well-being and verifying that the tone and intensity of our conversations that day were not bothering me or damaging my confidence. I let him know that I was fine.

I took this kind gesture and reformed an interpretation of his motives and went to report in again to Alan. I scroll down on my phone and hit on his name. I hear “hello.”

I ask, “how's it going?” The answer was hard to hear because of the blower.

I began to report the prior conversation and my gossipy reinterpretation of Dave's motives. I was edgy. I was pointed. I was out of line. I was disrespectful.

“Cam. This is still, Dave.”

I wasn't talking to Alan.

My throat locked up. My stomach fell. I went from freezing to sweating instantly.  My first instinct was to blame the "Can you hear me now?" guy with the glasses from the Verizon commercials. 

Dave had deserved better from me. We have had a good working relationship for several months. He has paid me compliments. He has considered me for other projects.

He was a gentleman about the entire thing. Our conversation continued from there so that he could further explain his point of view. I apologized. My foot was WAY in my mouth.

It took until today for my stomach to return to it's normal location. I felt miserable all that night and most of the day yesterday.

Dave moved on from it and told me to drop it more than once. We are back to working together. His forgiveness was quick to come.

Jeff Lin, of Bust Out Solutions, just shared this story with me about a VP at Ketchum who got himself into a rough situation with a key customer.  Even experienced leaders make business communication errors. He too seems fortunate in that his customer was quick to forgive. 

I continue to think about the things I should learn from the experience.  I think about the importantance of relationships.  I think about the volatilty of reputation.  I think about the pride I have taken in understanding, advising and practicing good communication only to be humbled by this FAIL.

This post is my therapy.  I am hoping this blunder will make me a better advisor in the future.